I'm not made of stone

A few months ago I wrote about the boy who touched my heart. The one who didn't love me back. It took a long time to stop thinking about him, to have my heart stop aching every time he crossed my mind. I think about him from time to time but I had moved on. Thursday morning I am at work, I check my phone and there is an email from him with the subject line I miss you. I sat at my desk and just cried for a good 5 minutes, I then went to the bathroom fixed my makeup and pulled myself together. Within minutes all the hurt flooded back. I replied because darlings if you have not yet figured I am an emotional masochists. He proceeded to tell me he missed spending time with me and that I had become his favourite person to spend time with. I thought about it and although I miss him, quite a lot and I miss his perfect penis I am not willing to let myself get hurt like that again. I can not be around him and cry myself to sleep wondering why he doesn't love me. He said we could go back to what we were because we were both fairly happy. I was quite astounded at his selfishness. I expressed that I did not want to have to doubt myself and question myself just because he missed me but he pushed it because of what he wanted. There was no consideration for my feelings and well being, I am expected to just suck it up and get over it? 

Thursday night I cried myself to sleep, I awoke Friday with the resolve to not let this effect me any longer. I am fantastic! I am one of a kind! Any man would be lucky to have me!

I value my sanity over getting laid. I will not be belittled because I have feelings. I will not settle, one day I hope I will find someone amazing. Until then I have protect myself so that I do not because even more bitter than I already am. I want love and will not be anyone's stepping stone to love, I am the fucking prize!

PEACE AND LUST

SEXY JESS