Recently I started seeing someone (kind of... It's complicated) and I learnt that there is a reason I've been single for the past 10 years. I am terrible at the whole feeling thing. Anyway that is not what I'm going to write about. I want to explore when is the right time to disclose things about yourself, specifically things of a sexual nature.
I am obviously a lot more open sexually than a lot of people and I write about my sexuality and sex life for all of the Internet to see. So the first hurdle I faced was when to tell this man about my blog. I figured the blog would give a good gauge on how he would react to other subject to be faced. I explore most of my sex life openly on this blog so I thought that perhaps it would open the door naturally to these conversations. Those being that A) from time to time I get paid for sex and B) I do not want a monogamous relationship. The second of those subjects is the one that people would most likely be having with anew parter. Unless you're all secretly sex workers.
It's difficult subject to have, open relations ships come in so many different varieties and you need to have a decent understand of what it is that you want. There is also the timing issue. I am always one to want to get things out on the table early. I don't want to fall madly in love, to then find out a year down the track he person I'm wit does not want the same things as me. Then we have the whole does the openness begin from the get go or are you committed only to each other for a certain amount of time to allow for the relationship to strengthen. So many questions. This is all without taking into consideration the then negotiations that need to take place so that the arrangement works for both people.
I'm putting my attempts at love on hold for the time being because at this point in time it all just seems like all to much!
PEACE AND LUST
SEXY JESS
I really like this subject that you have done. I don't really think there is a right or wrong time to bring up a subject such as an open relationship. For me personally I have always thought an open relationship was better suited for me personally but it has taken over 10 yrs of marriage to feel comfortable enough to have that conversation. It is the best thing we have both done.
ReplyDeleteI think if you bring up the subject of your past and for what ever reason the person has an issue with it they are most likely not the right person. It is not upto them to judge you on the choices you have made but to be happy that you have felt comfortable enough to talk to them about it. If they have feelings for you they should be able to accept you for who you are and not what they want you to be.
If you feel you have to change those aspects of your life that make you in order to be with someone that is judging you then if you are honest with yourself you know deep down they are not the right person. It is understandable to change somethings about yourself when you are in a relationship but not to change yourself just to start a relationship.
Thats just my opinion.